Giving Myself Grace
I don’t know about you, but I have fallen off and gotten back on several times the wagon of doing a daily Bible study. I always know that it is something that should take precedence in my life, but at times, I have forgotten that and let it fall by the wayside. But when I pick it up again, I mean to do it for good.
Just recently, I have gotten back to doing my daily Bible study. I was going along, doing one every day for a good solid two months or so when I got sick. And I missed a day. And when I went to do my study the next day, I was at a loss. You see, I’m reading through the New Testament in a year, via an app I have on my phone. So they have assigned readings for each day. And my phone doesn’t know if I didn’t read yesterday’s; it just brings me to the the reading for that particular day. But you can “go back in time” if you need to. And so I was at a loss. Should I read the one for yesterday? Should I read the one for today? Do I read both and double up? I’ve had this dilemma before, and I have always chosen to go back and read the ones I missed, trying to double up until I catch up, so that it doesn’t look like I missed a day in my journal. But sometimes I never catch up before I give up. And giving the impression of a perfect Bible study life isn’t honest either.
So this time, I decided to give myself grace. I went on to the day that it was. And I read it joyfully. I was glad I could take time to read the Bible that day. And I was glad not to have the pressure of fitting two days into one. And I was glad to be free of the guilt I usually have from “messing up”.
Grace is a beautiful, wonderful thing. I often ask for it from God. I often extend it to those around me. But I don’t often give it to myself. And in that way, I have often become my own worst enemy. And so in this area, one where the devil could easily entrap me in guilt and shame and giving up, I am giving myself grace so that I can focus on relationship with my Father and not a checkmark on my day.